by Shannon

I don’t quite remember falling, but I remember landing.  It was as if I felt the ground solid beneath my feet for the first time  A steady sense that what was happening around me was right, resonant, congruent with a lost and wandering part of myself; a light turned on in some dark, internal closet. I was twenty at the time and massively disoriented.  I suffered from the mental congestion and ego bloating that US culture had been spoon feeding me since birth.  I had always felt liminal in my experience,  disembodied and disconnected, genuinely confused, disillusioned and often distressed by modern capitalistic ways.  It was within the warm embrace of Nepal that the world began to make sense.  This land, the most topographically diverse in the world, home to dozens of intact indigenous communities, aligned with the rhythms of the earth, was still woven in deep connection.  It was impossible to not fall in love.  After nearly 30 years, my feelings have not waned. My reverence knows no bounds here.  

Like any journey of the heart though, it’s had phases, stages, ups, and downs.  My relationship with Nepal has had great intimacy, as well as great distance.  I’ve been enamored at times, conflicted at others, naive and jaded, generous and protective.  Through it all, Nepal has remained a reliable and consistent witness and teacher, offering abundant space for reflection, generous lessons, and immeasurable wisdom.  I’ve received more than I could ever give back.  

Being here now with my children at an age when their minds are growing and changing so rapidly, I feel overwhelming gratitude for the ways Nepal is teaching them with such grace and skill.  Their eyes are wide, minds curious, beings switched on in a new way.  They are embodied, connected.  I trust that their humility and resiliency will grow over these coming months, as they are offered genuine presence,  abundant blessings, and copious amounts of warm, milky tea. 

Palms pressed at my heart, head bowed, smile lifting lips, tears cresting lids, thank you Nepal.  As chela to guru, my most sincere dhanyabad.